was i sexually abused quiz

ive tried for the past ten years to remember what happened but its like i blacked out or something, the last thing i remember was him leaving and realizing that my phone was gone. But I had a panic attack. Yeah I reported it and the first session the professional were convinced it was happening. well I tend to bury myself in itlet boys do what they want when Im feeling down and stressed..saying f*** it and letting them use me. If your sister was abused, then your chances are higher if you were also there with her in the same situations. I dont want her to feel guilty or bad for me when I dont even know if anything happened. I feel panic when trying to touch her or even kissing her neck. We cant make a judgement call as wed need way way more information, so best to look at this with a counsellor, but he sounds immature and messed up. My panic attacks are extremely worse and I dont know how to get the answers I need/want. We wish you courage. Then I started thinking of the men my grandfather lived with (my uncles) and they were weird too, like always felt like they watched me and one, would take picture of me because he was an aspiring photographer back then. I cant remember why but it stopped after that I felt really bad everytime I thought about it, it made me feel wrong and sick so I stopped thinking about it and I hardly think about it unless it accidently pops into my head and I get the same bad feeling still. Ive been treated for depression my whole adulthood (was depressed as a child) and diagnosed bipolar I in my early fifties. What matters is focussing on healing the symptoms. You say you were diagnosed with depression and anxiety. What we can do is deal with the symptoms. We wish you courage! I lie to him so much about our sex life. There are other things. Work at raising your self-compassion and self-esteem, and let things unfold in a way your mind and spirit can handle. You are the only one who can fix you. I first had sex with my boyfriend at 16, and I havent been without since. We would recommend that you look at our other article on updated definitions of abuse. Best, HT. I have always since I can remember being extremely interested in sex I also knew how to satisfy myself early in life. Its important to understand what qualifies as sexual abuse before dismissing an experience you might have had as not a big deal. DBT often includes a group component which might work for you perhaps a group might feel less intense and stressful than one-on-one. This can all happen as soon as the first appointment and without any discussion of trauma at all. We are going to link you to our adjoining article, what to do if you think youve been abused http://bit.ly/dealwithabuse. Do you have someone to talk to? The vaginal cramping, breast pain, and rash are not symptom of abuse, wed highly suggest you see your medical doctor for a checkup as that sounds hormonal or illness related (we are not medical doctors so we really cant say) but important to look into. Is there someone you can talk to? The rest goes black. And we can understand particularly how enraged you must be that as a child you tried to talk to your mother and she brushed you off. (!!!!!!!!!!). But if we continue to do that as adults, when we do have the power to make choices, it can really hinder us. BOLDstatements you remember experiencing, even if it wasnt from a parent. Me and my dad arent close. If he asked, even sometimes when he wouldnt ask and would just start touching me, Id let him because I figured thats just what I was supposed to do. Every single time I stayed at their house. I struggled with almost everything on every list above. Hi there. Make sure to reach out to an empathic loved one or a professional to get the help that you deserve. I like rape pornography and enjoy acting out my fantasy with boyfriends. So we think this situation is far more complicated than just the actual sexual touching amongst children. Also google for a teen mental health line in your country. Made me over think and worry about things out of my control which has created anxiety and depression. Do I confront my father with questions? Later the neighbor boy who was about 2 years older was showing me his movies that make him feel good, then he said that he would tell my mom that we watched these movies unless I did what they were doing in the movie. Im in a loving committed relationship with a man, yet find myself very grossed out/afraid of/revolted by his genetalia, especially the thought of putting it in my mouth. While trying to figure out what did or didnt happen can be maddening, and who wouldnt like to be able to just know for sure the truth is that surprisingly high numbers of us just never know. She grabbed me and started humping me through the quilt. I need help/advice. i talked to my boyfriend about my connections i made today with everything. Otherwise bringing the abuse out into the open can end up being totally overwhelming and re-traumatising. I am dating a guy who is very narcissistic and my sexual drive is not normal. Thank you so much for all this brave sharing. Thanks for reading. We are sorry to hear all this Donovan. Hi Merly, thanks for sharing. Thank you for sharing, Mila. If you cant afford counselling, youll find an article on our site on low cost counselling that can help you find ways to find support on a lower budget. Many of us never know exactly what happened to us, and its important to put your focus onto getting help for symptoms instead of obsessing over what did and didnt happen. We highly recommend you read our article on what to do if you think youve been abused for more on this http://bit.ly/dealwithabuse. The article discusses the legal definition of abuse/not abuse in this sort of scenario. Its as impossible for us to say as much as you, were afraid. Before bed theyd make my cousin and I have a midnight snack even if it wasnt midnight. Shame is a very powerful emotion that keeps us stuck feeling we have no worth. Do you have nightmares or trouble sleeping due to this trauma? After I broke up with my girlfriend (with whom I lost my virginity) I went on a crusade of promiscuity and often find myself kissing or otherwise touching boys I have no interest in, and I want to say no to. I got pregnant young trying to please the boyfriend i had at the time. And its obvious you are feeling anxious and depressed. The truth is that most of us never know if we were or werent abused, as without a time machine we just never know what happened in our childhood. Will it ever be okay? I made a good friend in my new town and I told her everything. Starting to accuse others without being sure can sadly cause us more problems as people we are close to an turn against us or disappoint us by not defending us leaving us even feeling more sad and alone. I have been with my wife now 10 years, before her I was in many many many sexual relationships all straight never had any thoughts of being with men, but 2 times now Ive had men hit on me and touch me not sexually but wanting to, saying things like wanting to see me naked and complements, I had to pretend I got sick once and another pretend I was sleeping so they would leave. Its an assumption to say youll go to jail or ruin your families name. Thanks for any advice. A friend of hers the same age felt uncomfortable around him too. We really recommend you read through the other comments here and also read our new article on what to do if you think you were abused http://bit.ly/dealwithabuse. These memories caused me a lot of stress and I started to wonder if Id been abused. Yes B. I started masterbating when I was 6 years old, I can remember the first time I touched myself. A. So I got threats that were said are not threats but promises that my life will be miserable after my dad dies. The mind will spend hours making up stories or possibilities, some might be true, some not. I do remember that we used to do push-ups together, it was our thing, just he and I. I only remember doing push-ups one or two times though. when i attended the university i lived far from home and i met bad people i used to have sex with them eventhough i didnt want to and after the act i feel guilty and as if it was not me doing these things ,yes i used to please organs during that period i met someone in my life and to whom i lied about my past but he hacked my FB account and he saw the conversations and bit by bit i started to tell him about my life .. he helped me alot and we visited a psychologist and i met her alone and i told her that i sometimes dream with an old man and he scaries me and i dont know whom that man and i dont know why i used to have sex with many persons with no reason. It was just echoing what the abusers and those who enable them by disbelief did almost the same words sometimes. I used to regularly have very sexual dreams where I really want to have sex but cant (usually due to being interrupted by others). If you are not comfortable talking to your mother about your experiences (and many, many clients find sharing their past trauma with parents incredibly difficult), would it be an idea to get comfortable with your therapist first, share this with a therapist and work it through in the therapy room, and share with your mother if/when in the future that feels comfortable for you? We deeply understand that it can be very crazy making, something we think about non stop, and then there is the way we can stop trusting our own selves. He showed me his, then I got caught lifting up my skirt. You can also look on forums to see how other people are managing, find a local support group, and/or read self-help books on dealing with sexual abuse. I also think its because I havent seen the female that was doing those sexual things to me between the ages of around 7-14 in months and I guess my brain has now decided its okay to suddenly have the memories resurface.Now I cant stop thinking about it. We wish you courage! In elementary.. teen years. We wish you courage. Otherwise, if you want to try group therapy, dialectical behavioural therapy (DBT) might really help. Hi Sonia, you know that you have self esteem issues and you mention self-harm. My grandparents would make me bathe with my cousin (male) while watching us. Low and behold it was a radio shake recorder and the 5 year olds confession. Have had 4 therapists. I used to go on walks with my dad and wed go fishing, shooting in the forest, hed build dams with me across rivers, and hed make swings from trees for me. This kind of thing can also come from growing up in a religious household, which is a trauma in and of its own. I self harm, and every time I do so I feel like Im leaving my body. I dont know whether that memory has any relevance. Now I barely feel sexually attracted to anyone and when I do, I immensely deny it. My parents say they have no idea (and I trust them, no reason to think theyre lying to me). I have quite a few symptoms listed in this article, but as I never had any recollection of abuse, always thought I was a tad crazy. It worries me this might suggest she was abused. Hi Luca, first of all, its perfectly normal to feel confused and upset about all this. 5. If you arent already getting psychological support at the moment, we would advise it, as it sounds like your overthinking is causing you extreme anxiety and making your life hard. My mom was talking about the story of why I stopped going there, and she said something that just didnt make me feel right. My family would bring me to their friends and family places. I know I should not and I know I mean nothing to him, but I cant help myself he is the only thing I have on the planet and I do not count him a friend because he is a secret and I only ever see him for an hour at a time for sex. A quote from the most positive musician in the world I know of Nahko and Medicine for the People, from the US also. I cant prove I was though, I started getting extremely hyper-sexual when I was 12. . Sexual abuse can can be, Sexual abuse can cause long-term issues in your behaviours, relationships, and, The connection is so high that some psychologists debate if these disorders exist at all or are really just manifestations of trauma, with some, If you do suspect you were sexually abused as a child, you might find yourself suddenly experiencing overwhelming waves of, Worried this is you? Good parenting means one of your parents sits you down and lets you know what is and isnt acceptable, how to set boundaries, and how you can turn to them if you have bad experiences. But after some time I never saw him again. I masturbate every now and again, but I feel guilty and dirty afterwards. If not, is there a counsellor at school youd be comfortable talking to? I was rather shy and quiet when I was younger I guess that made me an easy target.I remember there was time a family member almost caught us I was absolutely terrified I was going to get into trouble despite never initiating any of it. In comparison to other Christian kids, I was educated, but not as nearly as much as I should have been. Best, HT. Ive been getting constant fears of being sexually assaulted as a child, Im 17. But in your case, given youve also got the sexual fantasies and a very direct phobia about being touched around your chest, and extreme anxiety by the looks of it, as well as an eating disorderwe would say it is quite possible that there was some kind of experience that is at its root. Make sure to reach out for help and support. As a child I had a babysitter that had me play games and then try things that could feel good or exciting. Do you experience some of the following? Since then ive tried to forgive and give him another chance. I cant remember what it was called but I know it was something to do with him telling me to do stuff and then I do it and visa Versa it was like dares but different. Looking back on the experience, I could tell that I was taken advantage of by a confused pre-pubescent boy. I never spoke about them to anyone. Hi, so does sound like youve spoken to someone then, but we hope that it wasnt a case of just putting you on medication without support. My parents didnt know he was a child molester, because my grandparents kept it a secret from them. London Bridge. All I know as an adult I feel like theres something mentally wrong with me like I have these permanent walls put up, I dont know why but I cant be close to people, the idea of hugging someone makes me feel uncomfortable but again I dont know why, I attach normal things like hugging, or tickling or even holding my child and bouncing her on my lap like its a sexual thing, when I do it, I immediately look around wondering if people are looking at me as if Im doing something wrong or something I shouldnt be doing even though it could me the most normal of things. I remember about 5-6 of them. Theres some things I remember but I dont recall them being very traumatic. I had a very strong attachment to my father , he would take me into our front room wen I was upset and I would sit on his knee . In this case it was quite an aggressive physical experience for you, and quite bullying, cruel, manipulative and scary, as opposed to curiosity and play, so yes, a real assault. I have a memory of my father saying inappropriate things to me aged around 12 but nothing else. I thought something was odd about the things I get sexually stimulated over until I was 50 and I began having night tremors and would wake up with vivid memories of being sexually abused as a child. And its not about what actually happened, its about what the results of your personal memories and perspective is having on your capacity to manage in life. Hi Tara, it might be helpful to read through all the other comments in this stream. They put you in touch with trained and kind listeners. I dont know what to do. Quiz Questions, 7th Grade Science Quiz Questions and Answers. Sexual Harassment Quizzes & Trivia - ProProfs He called it squish penis in our language. If this happens, it counts as sexual harassment. And we are also sorry to hear that you have gone from telling nobody, not working through any of your fury, and having no support on this and now facing your accuser. I am a mother now to a 2 year old girl and I got baptised last year. We wish you courage and suggest you read our other piece on what to do if you suspect you were abused http://bit.ly/dealwithabuse. I have always had this memory of my dad sexually abusing me. Now the point of having a therapist is to bring up anything at all that is troubling you. Hi Elisia, thanks for sharing all this. Most schools offer free or very low cost counselling, please see what your school offers and dont be afraid to go and use the service. Of course if one sibling is substantially older, or intimidates or threatens the other child, or one child doesnt want to play such games and is coerced then it can be sexual assault. When I was little, maybe 6-7, my family would go camping with some family friends who had a son three years older than me. He was laughing, trying to force the door open. Also when I was younger I was really scared of going anywhere by myself, I always had someone come with me. As youll see in the other comments, unless someone designs a time machine, nobody can actually know exactly what happened in the past. Despite how modern society pushes young teens to be adults, at 13 we are still really children, very vulnerable. Do you have trouble showing affection towards others? I really cant touch her breast, thighs, butt or genitalia. I have this reoccurring thought that I have been sexually abused as a child and somehow there is no doubt in my mind that that is true even though I do not have any memory of anything suspicious happening ever. I also self harm for 6 years. A few years ago I decided nothing bad happened and that we were just kids messing around because she never really forced me into anything but I shouldnt still feel sick about it if it was nothing right? Thanks. You might find in therapy that clear memories come out, you might find that the symptoms even come from another buried experience, you might find that you never learn the exact details of what has caused your symptoms or what happened that night. Being a teenager is also hard, your brain is growing and your hormones are changing. The safety of the therapy room and a good therapist who can help you navigate this memory and look at ways to handle symptoms is what matters. My mother was bipolar so I wasnt raised in a nice environment and I might have PTSD due to this. Sounds like you are going through a lot. I havent been diagnosed with anything since my mom refuses to bring me in, she thinks Im attention seeking and just want to be able to say that I have a mental illness. Wed highly recommend you seek support over this. Im also dealing with depression and I am trying to figure out who I am. All I remember them doing is shouting at me for making a noise or being outside when they wanted me inside for what reason I do not know as the only part I remember is being shouted at and hiding the tears on my cheeks as I was crying about having to go inside, but I cant remember past the back door. Small bits and pieces are slowly coming back. Hi CT, its estimated that 1 in 4 children suffer from some sort of abuse as children. A friend who got raped did the same thing. Harry Potter House Quiz: Which Hogwarts House Do You Belong To? But every once in a while, I still find myself over thinking something she does or says, or remembering one of the weird things she did before, and freaking out about it, and I feel so angry and confused about it! Nothing else. i seen from other posts that later signs are eating disorders and what not. Sexual assault is: A broader form of assault that includes any sexual activity, contact, or behavior that's performed without explicit and enthusiastic consent. You are not alone. Im feeling like I could completely be making this up, or mistaking memories as I am a highly sensitive person. And then started the grooming. Im not deciding to tell anyone, but even if I tell my mom in the future, Im not sure shell believe me since they always thought of that man very highly. It was always about pleasing the other person before I got married. First time in my life, I feel like I MIGHT ACTUALLY let go of shame, guilt and need to be sexually what others expect be it my crazy parents, or my chauvinist, abusing former partners. We went in the bathroom n locked the door i was telling her what happened in a whisper n he kept yelling to open the door n what we were talking about n why were we both inside n taking so long . I always feel guilty, ashamed, or flustered when I get asked this sort of thing. Fast forward 30 years later. Now that Im an adult, Im understanding in more depth the abusive things she used to do to me, and how that affected me until today. Hi Unknown, we edited your comment due to its very long length. Seeing that your lover abuses you is the first step to stopping it. Unfortunately your half sister did something you didnt like, and you didnt feel you had the power to say anything or protect yourself. We wish you courage! This could be talking to a counsellor, or if that feels too hard you might want to start by calling a hotline where a trained listener will be waiting to help and will believe what you share. Is there someone you can talk to about this? Its very normal to go crazy with desire to want to know, and thats okay. Best, HT. My mom says I use to love dresses but suddenly stopped, but to be completely honest, ever since I can remember I felt afraid of wearing dresses, resentful toward them, ive Been uncomfortable around that cousin, and in that house. But my take on my childhood home is that it was completely loveless. I didnt and went back to my room to practice what I saw. Also, depending on the way my partner plays with my nipples, i feel sick and instantly think of my mom. Cant Stop Crying? But i have no recollection or memory of having been sexually abused as a kid. I have vivid memories of a man named Hank with an orange truck, a small dog, and a old lady wife/mother. Although before him i used to be attracted to people who would eventually emotionally abuse me. There are other pieces of the puzzle, but it all definitely points to abuse. Do you often get remarks about your sex or gender? Hope this helps! I am also a very anxious person who isnt very keen of socializing too much. I moved decades ago to put distance between me and the druggies. Cuz I need to know if my dad actually did something to me. He doesnt even talk to me about PTSD. I think the fact that I experienced covert abuse by a female/same-sex abuser plays a large part. Who you can trust and talk openly with? I have always been getting sick with common colds, stomach viruses, and just about everything else that exists, my life has honestly not been the best. Do you fear sexual intimacy? If someone could explain to me what a naughty chair is because recently in the last few months I dont know why but when I see chairs I just end up asking if its my naughty chair and it upsets me. i also have rape fantasies, which scares me so much, because if i was molested thatd basically mean that i enjoyed it? I startle very easily. Quiz: Have I Suffered From Emotional Abuse by My Parents? I used to become hysterical when I received a pelvic exam in my teens and twenties. As you say, you are coping, and thats great. Or does your workplace provide some counselling in your medical coverage? Ive always been scared to step out of my house and I feel very uncomfortable with men.

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