george carlin government doesn't care about you

The sanctity of life doesnt seem to apply to cancer cells, does it? Its interested in its own power. They want it back so they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street. Dont look for it. Save the planet? What? "Pre-heated" is a meaningless fucking term! Everybody complains about politicians. And the supreme arrogance? I wouldn't be surprised if they came up with a birth control pill that doesn't work all the time; they'd call it "Baby Maybe"! No problem. So about 80 years after the Constitution is ratified, the slaves are freed. They don't take into them the idea that we are part of it. Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you're tired. Well, of course it was pre-recorded! Elect me. Put the blame where it belongs: on the people. And here as long as were talking about theme restaurants, I got a proposition for you. Where are these people hiding? He was regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comics of all time. Men are terrified that their pricks are inadequate and so they have to compete with one another, to feel better about themselves, and since war is the ultimate competition, basically, men are killing each other in order to improve their self-esteem! And when you suspend your individual beauty you also give up a lot of your humanity. Im not sure thats the way to fight discrimination. If I can be of any help to you on your journey I'll do my best. And we wont leave much of a trace. What we need is a king, and every now and then if the kings not doing a good job, we kill him. It simply doesn't give a fuck about you. A dentist with blood in his hair. Yeah, usually they're already there. And besides telling you things you shouldnt say, religion is gonna suggest some things that you ought to be saying; Heres something you ought to say first thing when you wake up in the morning; heres something you ought to say just before you go to sleep at night; heres something we always say on the third Wednesday in April after the first full moon in spring at 4 oclock when the bells ring. Religion is always suggesting things you ought to be saying. 23. We hadn't been into grass before, we were into gang fighting, and wine and beer in the park, and punching the shit out of people, and having jackets with your name, and your girls were your 'debs', and you had turf, and all that dumb shit, and we would get into fights over girlsand then pot came along and gang fighting went away. The sword of god, the blood of the lamb, 'vengeance is mine'; millions of dead motherfuckers. I can't follow the logic on that one at all! A brain surgeon with "Born to Lose" tattooed on his hands. So come on in. Am I right? This is my list: guys in their fifties named "Skip." No war on homelessness. Go look for consistency in religion. It will be coincidental. I love it when it didn't take a, Now, if you think you do have rights, one last assignment for you. Dont just teach your children to read Teach them to question everything that they read Teach them to question everything. George Carlin, 86. George Carlin Quotes. Maybe a little Styrofoam. For twelve dollars. 14. Say "you assholes are goin' for a ride!". They say rather than cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. 24. There's a reason for this, there's a reason education. Lets get started! The real reason that we cant have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not commit adultery, and Thou shalt not lie in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. Just for you? In many ways, the comedian has the ability to be the philosopher of our era, a social critic and theorist whose words have the ability to shape public thought. That's all it is. We dont even know how to take care of ourselves; we havent learned how to care for one another. It will not be with jack-boots. Capitalism tries for a delicate balance: It attempts to work things out so that everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from getting violent and trying to take other peoples stuff. Ask an addict. That would be a nice realistic campaign slogan for somebody: The public sucks. They just care about having a comfortable place. Various lists of humorous one-liners were forwarded through email in the 1990s, falsely attributed to George Carlin. Anything differentthat's what they're gonna talk aboutrace, religion, ethnic and national background, jobs, income, education, social status, sexuality, anything they can do to keep us fighting with each other, so that they can keep going to the bank! And generally speaking again it's all generalized the left-of-center people are more concerned with humans and human beings and human concerns; to the care of humans, not the care and worry about property rights. George Carlin was an outspoken comic, known for his brash sense of humor, foul language and controversial views on politics, religion and other sensitive subjects. And that of course was at the end of the Civil War. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. '""The difference between left and right of centeroriginated in the Frenchparliament. But once you're born, you're on your own. Everywhere you go now, there's some dick, some yo-yo, some putz with a camcorder, and he is going to tapeEVERYTHING! 15. It's interested in its own power, that's the only thing, keeping it and expanding it wherever possible. Pray for anything you want. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. George Carlin, 9. A gynecologist who wants my wife to have three or four drinks before the examination. Another great skit by the great stand-up comedian George Carlin who died about two years . Keep em showing up at those jobs. George Carlin, 81. Continue with Recommended Cookies. So arrogant. Then he is the victim of an irony. In this blog post, well take a look at some of his best quotes on the subject. Instead, what you do is kick him in the nuts. His father was from Donegal, Ireland, and his mother was Irish-American. By clicking Accept All Cookies, you agree to the storing of cookies on your device to enhance site navigation, analyze site usage, and assist in our marketing efforts. . The truth is, we dont have people like that. 39. That's what you do. Pray for anything, but what about the Divine Plan? And if, somehow, you must join, if its unavoidable, such as a union or a trade association, go ahead and join. The real reason that we cant have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not commit adultery, and Thou shalt not lie in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. Were gonna save the fuckin planet? Save the planet! They own everything. It's not intelligent to stand around with a controlled fire sticking out of your mouth. RT @WideAwake444: Government doesn't care about you. And do people really watch this shit? Who said so? Whether you agree with him or not, Carlins views are definitely worth considering. I distinguish between maniacs and crazy people; a maniac will beat nine people to death with a steel dildo. Nature is in here. Term limits ain't going to do any good; you're just going to end up with a brand new bunch of selfish, ignorant Americans. Hindus, Muslims, Jews, Christians; all taking turns killing each other because God told 'em it was a good idea. Some people don't want you to mention certain things. George Carlin. The people are [bleeped out]. Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. George Carlin, 42. You know, why should it be illegal to sell something thats perfectly legal to give away? Several reasons. The Zen Teachings of George Carlin, a Comedian Who Pointed the Way Judd Apatow and Michael Bonfiglio's new HBO documentary "George Carlin's American Dream" takes viewers on a tour through. You realize that most of the right-to-lifers are in favor of the DEATH penalty? 17. 50. And nobody seems to notice, nobody seems to care. It's all very confusing. I said, "Definitely, I feel we have too many dopes." If it requires a uniform, its a worthless endeavor. George Carlin, 11. George Carlin has many famous quotes about government, education and the American dream that are often referenced as truth. When you get to Wikipedia, in the search field for Wikipedia, I want you to type in ". They will do anything for the unborn. That is a true oxymoron if Ive ever heard one: Civil War. Do you think anybody in this country could ever really have a civil war? And they're against gun control and they're against nuclear weapons control. 25. The planet is fine. Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was. Same with religion. I think "spokesman" ought to be "spokesperson," I think "chairman" ought to be "chairperson," I think "mankind" ought to be "humankind." Because you have the illusion of choice. One of the more pretentious political self-descriptions is "libertarian". Well, they don't want you to get an infection! They want your fuckin' retirement money. They don't give a fuck about you. Its no secret that George Carlin was a bit of a political philosopher. Put the blame where it belongs: on the people. A funeral director who says "Hope to see you folks again real soon!" Tell you a little secret about the blues; its not enough to know which notes to play, you gotta know why they need to be played, and another thing I dont think white people should be trying to dance like blacks. Each one of them has an entire hologram of the universe somewhere within them. George Carlin, 34. If your kid needs a role model and you aint it, youre both fucked. George Carlin, 32. Carlin got famous for his bit about the words you cant say on television, but his legacy speaks of so much more, wisdom and wit that deserve to live on through the ages. Broadly speaking. Some people see things that are and ask, Why? He said "Hi folks, I'm completely full of shit and how do ya like that?" ' George Carlin, 30. 6. It's nice. Are people's lives so bankrupt they sit at home looking at things they already DID? They don't pass through a membrane from another reality. The rights and the rights of property. Save the planet? Did you ever notice that, how many stupid people you run into during the day? Doesn't happen 'cause chickens are decent people. And he's gotta do it with a big. They all said: Try to live together peacefully. BAM! Right in the fucking head! They come from American homes, American families, American schools, American churches, and American businesses. I sit there laughing and they go to waste. Any old orifice will do for Dopey. Doesn't this piss you off? If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten. George Carlin, 47. They wind up on sanitary napkins, and yet they are fertilized eggs. I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. Live and let live. Your birth certificate is proof of guilt! Well suppose the thing you want isn't in God's Divine Plan? Yours for the asking, no purchase necessary, it's our way of saying thank you. BAM! People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think. George Carlin, 28. I don't believe in road rage; I prefer the gentle rebuke. Some people are really fucking stupid. Bomb them! And of course, the bombs and the rockets and the bullets are all shaped like dicks. George Carlin was one of the most well-known and beloved comedians of all time. A diversified multicultural postmodern deconstructionist. There is actually a semi-important figure in American history who is named for a blow-job movie. George Denis Patrick Carlin was born and raised in Manhattan, New York City, to Mary (Bearey), a secretary, and Patrick John Carlin, an advertising manager for The Sun; they had met while working in marketing. People don't believe that! That's all we've ever had in this country, is a bill of temporary privileges. Are we so much better than chickens all of a sudden? I think humans were given great great gifts: walking upright, binocular vision, opposable thumb, large brain We grew. Skip the clouds and get to the fucking. Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. You want somethin' hot to suck on? Well I'll go for a drive, you'll go for a ride. My first rule: I dont believe anything the government tells me. Huh? Thats all it is. When else are you gonna record it, afterwards? BREAKING: 100 days . Anyone who can't go along with that, take him outside and shoot the motherfucker. George Carlin Shitting on GovernmentBuy Me a Pizzahttps://www.buymeacoffee.com/LaughPlGEORGE CARLINhttps://www.youtube.com/user/OfficialGeorgeCarlin/feedGeorge's websitehttps://georgecarlin.com/Social Media:\rInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/thelaughplanetofficial/\rYoutube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiI_jyH_0yttWG-m5fBYGmA\rTwitter: https://twitter.com/laugh_planet\rWebsite: http://thelaughplanet.comContact us: ash98jha@gmai.com #GeorgeCarlin #Government #America #Comedy #LaughPlanet He was paranoid on his own. It's as simple as that. Gave it a lot of thought, decided it was a good plan, put it into practice. All right, that's enough of that. I wish I could live 1000 years to watch it happen. "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. No. This is what we have to offer. Rights arent rights if someone can take them away. And they all vote. Don't let me be attacked by a maniac wearing a french tickler and a space helmet. It creates a hostile work environment. George Carlin, 65. But it can't happen, "I want to live my next life backwards: You start out dead and get that out of the way. Guy with a fuckin' pipe! Carlin and his older brother, Pat, were primarily raised by their mother in Manhattan's Morningside Heights neighborhood. Here's what you do: First of all, you don't get all scared and do whatever he tells you. For a while, I thought of myself as an atheist until I realized it was a belief, too. Like the public. Religion has convinced people that theres an invisible man living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. If honesty were suddenly introduced into American life, the whole system would collapse. 50 The Alchemist Quotes To Make You Follow Your Dreams, 195 Best Cobra Kai Quotes (Seasons 1 5), 70 Attack On Titan Quotes That Will Inspire Greatness, 37 The Lion King Quotes Filled With Powerful Life Lessons, Your email address will not be published.

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